My Pride 6

CHAPTER SIX (FINAL CHAPTER)

It kept ringing in my head. My fiancé. She was so proud to call my Chinedu her fiancé. I scoffed at the idea that I still felt Chinedu was mine even after being married to another man. She was definitely mocking me. I couldn’t help but imagine if life would have been different being married to him, perhaps I would be pregnant with my second child now. Immediately I got home, I ran into the awaiting arms of mom and wept. She held me tight and consoled me, every anger or decision she had made to scold me, washed away. My hurt was deeply rooted in the fact that Chinedu was getting married to my friend.

“She’s getting married to Chinedu” I whisper in-between sobs. I raise my head  to meet the puzzled look on mom’s face. I searched her eyes for answers but she pulled my head down to her chest and rubbed my back in a soothing form while I offloaded more tears; the sound of my cry, coming out in hiccups. 

When I had finally quieted down. She sat me up.

“Why are you sad he is getting married?” she questioned.

That question made me realize I had no reason to be sad.  I knew I needed to say something. I needed a reason to justify my annoyance, didn’t I want him married? I do but not to my childhood friend.

“Mummy, it is Amara he is getting married to o” I reminded her

She laughed at my silly attempt to get her on my side. “And what is wrong with that? You’re married.” She reminded me.

“She’s having his baby.” I continued

“I’m aware of that. You should be happy for them. Remember you left him.” She jabs the guilty card on me, hurting me like a sharp knife piercing through my chest.

I know I left him. I didn’t give him a reason for leaving him even though he pleaded to at least know what he had done and I refused. He believed he could fix us. The financial investment, time and emotions he had put into the relationship for four years all went down in just one day. How was I to tell him I connected more to Mike than I did with him? How was I to tell him that Mike was richer than he is and understood me better than he could ever? I wish I had told him all that, perhaps he won’t be tying the knot with my childhood friend. I look at mom with teary eyes. She wiped away the tears from the corners of my eyes.    

“Listen my child and you will know where your heart lies. Amongst my children you’re the most stubborn.” She chuckled. “None of your brothers gave me so much headache like you did. Remember no one forced you into marrying Michael. We all knew about your relationship with Chinedu but you chose who to spend your life with. That was your decision. I trusted your judgment. You knew why you decided it was Michael and not Chinedu. At the slightest provocation, you shouldn't run home. You shouldn’t because of your present predicament second guess that decision you made before God and man. You should stay back and make your relationship work, remember it is a life partnership and I will not support divorce.” She warns. I look into her darkish brown eyes and wonder how she had made her relationship with dad work. They’ve fought countless times but they still stood together till he died.

“If the tables were turned and he reacted the way you did, how would you feel?” she asked me. I knew how supportive Mike had been before my last visit to the doctors. He never judged me for once, he offered emotional support, and he even joined me in taking those local herbal medicines sold along the roadside by Yoruba women. He did it for me, because he knew how important it was for me. His refusal to go to the doctors’ is becoming clear to me now. He is afraid he is the cause, and doesn’t know how he will handle such news. Maybe that’s why he avoids going at all cost.

“But mummy will he ever forgive me?” I asked, realizing my foolishness. She smiled at me and walked inside. Few minutes later, she was out with Mike following from behind. I was shocked to see him and stood up immediately. He walked slowly towards me and stopped a few feet away from me, staring at me, emotionless. “I’m sorry.” I bent my head in shame.

He closed the gap between us and held me in his arms. This was why I left Chinedu.  It was difficult pleading for forgiveness with him. Mike had a huge heart, he handled my crazy self well. When his arms envelop me in a tight embrace, I weep on his chest. He rubbed my back as he cooed. 

“I deflated your tyre” I started out.

“You destroyed my designer clothes.” He added and chuckled “but what matters is that you’re alright”

I drew myself out from his embrace. I looked at him in disbelief; all that mattered to him was my wellbeing. 

“Why?” I asked him. He replied to me with a blank expression. “Why are you doing this?”

“Doing what?” he asked, confused.

“Loving me” I wiped away tears that stung at the corners of my eyes. He smiled and dragged me back into his embrace.

“I knew what I was getting myself into when I married you. Regardless you’re my pride, children or no children. We will work something out; I will go for the check up.” 

I raise my head and was shaking it “I don’t care if you go or not”

 “Says the woman who ran off this morning from her husband?” He raised an eyebrow and I chuckled. “I want to; this time around I won’t develop cold feet.” He promised as he kissed my forehead. “When the driver told me you left for the airport I couldn’t help but run after you. I realized how my actions have been affecting you. When I saw you seated across from me in the plane, I saw how sad you were. I didn’t notice you’ve lost some weight.” He pulled me away from him so he could look into my eyes, still holding me in his embrace. “It struck me that I am part of the reason behind your suffering. The realization that I couldn’t console my wife there.” He wiped the tears that already formed at the corners of my eyes. “God gives children, if he decides he won’t give us that is fine but I promise to always be at your side through this journey.”